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January 20, 2013
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This for you.
I know you will never see it, but I wanted to write how I felt, my thoughts.
Because I saw you hurt him, everyday, and I know he doesn't deserve it.
You might be my father, but I cut you out of my life because of how much your anger affected me. How much it hurt to see you do the same to him, my brother.

But he was more than my brother. I got stuck with him, grew to love him probably more than I should, in the way a mother would love a son. Maybe this was because so often you and her would ignore him, and someone had to care for him, feed him, play with him and watch him grow.

I hugged his little two-year-old body when he came to me shaking after you left him with bruises, gave him kisses to remind him he was loved before I left for school, tell him to look after himself, and that I'd be back.

I remember all the hurt you caused me, and how that made me turn away from you, to pack my bags and leave, to refuse to talk to you even though it's been two years.
Because you made my childhood so painful, so full of anger.

And I could see you doing that to him. He was four years old, running around in Bob the Builder pyjamas with too-big wellies, and already full of anger towards the world, towards his family for doing such horrid things to him.

And so I want, if you want to keep him in your life and not have him resent you all the time, everytime you speak, then I want you to give him the childhood he deserves.
Because no child ever deserves the childhood you gave me.
So love him, and let him know that every day.
Don't hurt him, because you've already caused him so much pain.
And don't be angry with him just because he's there for you to take it out on.

Because otherwise he will turn away.
Just like I did.
And now I'm free from your clutches. Forever.
Directed towards my father.
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:iconxxleannaxsecretsxx:
xXLeannaXSecretsXx Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No matter how many abuse awareness pieces I write (child abuse, domestic violence, etc), they will never be as hard-hitting as the ones that are not fiction. I really hope your brother is being taken better care of and if not that somebody does something about it. No child deserves that kind of life. I hope you're doing better too. :iconhug1plz:
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, and I am very much. Thank you. :tighthug:
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:iconart-greylace:
Art-Greylace Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
You may need to call children's aid- or whatever it's called where you live.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's okay, I don't live with them anymore. ^^
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:iconart-greylace:
Art-Greylace Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013
Yes, but if your brother does, you need to call children's aid.
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:iconwaiting-for-wings:
waiting-for-wings Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:( i really hope things are better now, no one deserves things like that
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's okay. And yeah, they are quite a lot better, I guess... At least on a parental side. :)
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:iconwaiting-for-wings:
waiting-for-wings Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thats good then
Reply
:iconscarletmoon-98:
ScarletMoon-98 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I hope he's being treated like a child should. He doesn't deserve that and neither do you.
I'm in a similar postition with my 2 year old baby sister. My father is a very...angry person, to say the least. He won't take care of Abi (my baby sister) and is never home. His girlfriend (Abi's mom, not mine) won't play with her and usually sleeps all day; leaving Abi alone in her crib crying. I do my best to take care of her when I visit, but I'm only there about 3 days a week, and most of the day I'm at school. Abi actually calls me "momma" sometimes, and it makes heart ache. Is that weird?
I have no idea why I'm venting to you but it feels good to finally meet someone who knows the feeling...sorry if I'm bothering you ^^;
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I hope he is, too. I just wish I knew.
Oh, the poor baby, no wonder you feel the same. I know how hard it is to go to school and leave them behind. I get that pain. </3
No, it's not. My brother did that a couple of times, and my mum was so mad when his first word was 'Jess' not 'mum' or 'dad'. But it's what she got for never taking care of him. That's okay, feel free to vent, I'm here for that~ :huggle:. I know, it's hard to find others who understand. You're not bothering me at all, so don't think that. :hug:
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