Sta.sh
I'll never forget that Christmas when we woke to find nothing more than two pieces of coal on the floor of the living room, and how we sat crying for hours because we still believed in Santa.
What made it worse is that later that year, you told us Santa wasn't real, and that you were the ones who thought we didn't deserve presents.
Even though that year, you'd got a job and dad had got a pay-rise.
I'll never forget that last weekend of the summer holidays, before going into year 3 at my new school, when you decided to weigh us both after we got out the bath, how you called me fat.
And how that made me start skipping my meals, how the school used to phone you up, worried I was getting too small, and how I was being forced by them to eat my lunches.
Even though when you called me fat, I was only seven, and you called me fat because I weighed half a stone more than my brother, even though he was a year and a half younger than me.
I'll never forget that day when I first screamed at you 'I hate you' from the top of the stairs as you came running up to slap me round the face and lock me back in my room.
And how I resented you for the rest of my life, never spoke to you about anything, and was never told you were sorry or that you loved me.
Even though you had hurt me first, just for being a child. Just for being alive.
I'll never forget all those times you used to make me do one job after another, whilst my brother just sat there doing what he wanted, whilst I struggled under heavy loads of washing and ironing, and the weight of the vacuum.
And how you said it was my duty, because I was a girl and women had to do the housework, not men, and when I argued with you, you'd just say 'It's your place, so remember it'.
Even though I was only ten, and burning my fingers every time I had to iron his clothes for him, feeling faint when you demanded one task after another and never believed I should be doing it all on my own.
I'll never forget though, mother, how you used to say all those horrible words to me, how it was your words that crushed me.
How I started laughing in your face when you did, because it was the only thing that hurt you and stopped me from crying, even if it did earn me a few extra slaps.
Even though I was just trying to stand up for myself, as weak as I was, because nobody deserves to live through the pain of being so demoralized.
Of what you did to me.
Nobody deserves to be broken.
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