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I want to be one of those girls
The ones with the three inch gap between their thighs and the stick thin legs.
One of those teenagers
Who you see in the street with their arms all sliced up.
One of those children
Who don't have to count everything.
One of those kids
Who have a boyfriend and are never alone.
One of those students
Who has loads of friends.
One of those people
Who can be just 'Fine'.

But I want to be Normal.

I want to be able to eat.
I want to be able to not cut.
I want to be able to just relax.
I want to be able to not be alone.
I want to be able to make friends.
I want to be just fine.
My feelings, I guess. Only right, the top half is a lot more dominant. Anyway, hope you like.
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:iconoseltamivir:
Oseltamivir Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Can't relate to all of it, but I know how you feel to wish you could be able to live a normal, peaceful life. :/

Nicely written.
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:iconcopperfrost:
Copperfrost Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Student General Artist
Why can't I favorite this more than once because this completely applies to me :I
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:iconsunshiny-sunflower:
SunShiny-Sunflower Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
It speaks a lot about you. I'm not sure if you should be as exposing yourself, but after all we all need to yell to the world sometimes.
You're not alone, we from :iconneverbealone: are here for you.
I said it before, I'm telling you again, if you ever need something just note me. ^^
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Sorry, I've been away for a while due to having too much school work and other things to deal with.

Thank you, and yeah, I see what you mean, but I wish more people //could// see how I really am. I have to hide from everyone in my life, and sometimes it can get a little exhausting.

Thanks again, it's good to know I'm not. I feel it so much, so it's nice to hear that people care, especially since all that goes round in my head is that people don't. I will do, thank you.x Just right now, school work is horrible and draining me. :hug:
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:iconsunshiny-sunflower:
SunShiny-Sunflower Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Ah, I'm at the same plate about schoolwork, it can get really exasperating. =(
But hold on! You'll get through it and whenever you need a support you can seek it from me! :hug:
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013   Writer
You need a hug :hug:
And an avatar - check out ~MagicallyCreative to see if there is anything you like or want.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. :tighthug: And will do, thank you very much~! xx
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013   Writer
:hug:
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013   Writer
I will be critiquing this piece on behalf of
:icongrammarnazicritiques:

Firstly, Your title speaks of a longing, yet in your first stanza you are longing for things that nobody should long for. I would consider changing the title.

Now, the crit:
:bulletred: ST = Stanza
:bulletred: L = Line

I would personally break this up into sections. For example:

"I want to be one of those girls
The ones with the three inch gap between their thighs and the stick thin legs.

But I want to be Normal.

I want to be able to eat."

- And then move on to the next section. Because as it stands you emphasise the 'bad' as in wanting to be anorexic and wanting to be a cutter in your first few lines and that wanting or longing almost spoils the ending where you say you don't actually want those things, but you want to rather be normal.

I like how you go from girls, to teenagers, to children, to kids, to students to people, making each one different yet the same. It adds to the piece that there is repetition, but it is not totally repeated.

This piece could do with a comma after the first line of the first section, as that really doesn't flow on to the rest unless you change 'the ones' to the word 'with'.

Personally I would mix this up, because at the moment it sounds as if you are promoting self-harm and eating disorders, which I don't think was (or I hope wasn't) your intention.

Overall:
A really emotional piece. Slightly cliché, but nicely written. A bit too much 'promotion' for my liking, though that's a personal opinion. Good grammar and punctuation. Nice use of formatting to emphasise certain words. You end with a good message.

:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty:
Jo
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
First of all, thank you so much. It means a lot that you have taken the time to do this for me. :la:

Okay, I see how that would improve it, thank you.
Again, thanks. I get what you mean about it soiling the ending and how I should make it a running thing throughout.
Thank you, I'm glad you like that. :aww:

No, no, that wasn't my intention~! Please don't think that. My intention was only to show how all these problems can occur in one person, yet they can just want to be the same as everyone else.

Thank you, it was meant to be quite emotional, and was from the heart. Yeah, sorry about it being a little bit cliche, I can understand perfectly where you're coming from there. Again, sorry. It really wasn't meant to be like that, I hope you understand. ^^ And thank you, I hope the bit at the end makes it less promoted, if you get me.

Again, thank you so so much~! It really means so much to me. :hug: xx
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013   Writer
No problem :hug: Hope it helped a bit.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, it really did~! Thank you. :la:
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:iconwaiting-for-wings:
waiting-for-wings Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
really well written.
worded in a way many can relate to - especially because it covers more than one topic.

I want to one of those super skinny girls, but i love my food too much.
speaking of cutting, there was this really sick fad at my old school a few years ago where people would practically ENCOURAGE one other to cut - it was FASHIONABLE to them. it was sick and disgusting to watch.
Oh god yes i want to stop being so alone. i'm actually so lonely now days, i used to be ok. i used to want to be alone. i want THAT back . the contempt.

What we would give to be "fine"
:tighthug: hang in there. one day, you'll be better than "fine" one day you'll be truly happy.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much~! :hug:
I feel like I love food too much, and sometimes on days where I'm trying not to eat it becomes impossible.
I know. My school had that for a little while, when it came out about a few people doing it (I wasn't on of them), but thankfully it died down when people realised how widespread it actually was. It's so horrible though, knowing people could do that.
Yeah. I always just wanted to be left alone, for people not to talk to me, since I was scared they would either bully me or not want to talk to me anymore when they found out about my problems.
I hope that one day might come, and for you, too. :huggle: xxx
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:iconzutarafan4evea:
zutarafan4evea Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Student Writer
I guess I was one of the lucky ones. I was in marching band in high school and concert in middle school. I had been playing an instrument for seven years. Were there jerks then. Yes but instead of focusing on the things they were picking on me for like being the tallest and largest girl in the class. Instead of becoming the bully like they were to me. I used music as an outlet. I was fairly good. Unfortunately I don't play now that I'm in college, but I can still remember how to read and play sheet music. It's a skill that I don't ever want to lose.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Seven years is a really long time, well done~. :aww: Sorry to hear you were picked, I know how horrible that is.x That's good, it's such an amazing skill to have. I wish I could play an instrument... But apparently my musical ear is somewhat lacking. I hope all the bullying has stopped now, though, and things are looking up in your life.x
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:iconzutarafan4evea:
zutarafan4evea Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Student Writer
it did after i graduated high school. by that point of instead of focusing on all of the negative traits they were pushing at me, i pushed back. i've also learned not to really care about what people say about me. because i know what they say behind my back. they are just to afraid to say it to my face. because they know that i will set them straight. either it be verbally or at least scaring them s***less.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Seriously well done on pushing back. It can be really tough to stand up to bullies, I never have. But I'm so glad it's stopped for you now, and I guess I've learnt not to care so much, too. I'm not really a scary person, so I can't do that... But I'm glad that you can. :hug:
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:iconzutarafan4evea:
zutarafan4evea Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Student Writer
most of the time its unintentional. i was at work one day and i'm doing my job. i was getting ready to take the trash out. well we have large trash bags and some of them are heavy. so, i went to take them out one day while this co-worker of mine. he's roughly my age same height, but he's bulkier than i am. i take the trash out and two days later. i had day off the next day. i find out from my boss that the guy that was working back there with us is intimidated by me. this is how i know that they were talking about me. apparently while i'm off for the day. he told my boss that i scared him. she tells him that i was the complete opposite. thus why when she told me afterward i was laughing and so was the rest my co-workers. he asked my boss the question of "Did you see the muscles on that girl?" oh i was like :rofl:. i told my boss "Thats not muscle its fat." she about died in laughter. i just know how to use my weight to my advantage. i'm a big girl. always have been.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Sorry, I did reply to this before, but my internet crashed as it was sending. ^^

Well it's really good that you can take it so lightly. It can be hard to take things like that in the right way, so I'm glad you have done. Good for you~! But no-one needs to be scared of you, you're really nice. :hug: I am quite heavy, too, and have always had a lot of strength in my legs, so can pick things up that my sisters often can't, since they're really small. But yeah, good for you on taking it in a good way. :hug: I wish people could be more like you. ^^
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(1 Reply)
:icondeci-blu:
deci-blu Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is really powerful...I can relate to this so much...
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.x Though sorry you can relate... :hug:
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:icondeci-blu:
deci-blu Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome c: and don't be sorry, it's just life I guess..
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Life is pretty rubbish sometimes, and to the best people. I hope it gets better for you soon. :tighthug:
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:icondeci-blu:
deci-blu Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks c:
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You look after yourself. :hug: x
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:icondeci-blu:
deci-blu Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
you too. <3
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:iconstarkpretty:
Starkpretty Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
I know that the mirror is warped for you, and maybe it will not straighten immediately. One day, however, you'll take a sledgehammer to that mirror and smash it.

Keep going- writing helps. <3
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
One day I hope I can do that. I hope that for everyone. <3 Bu thank you, that makes me feel a little better. :) And it's helping me, so I'll keep at it for now. :la:
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:iconarvenaperedhel:
ArvenaPeredhel Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Speaking as someone who has been there, it gets better. And no, it doesn't happen right now. Or even in the immediate future. It's taken me five years to be at fifty percent normal, but every percentage is one that I've fought for and one that you will fight for too. Know that I am here and that we are living proof of the fallibility of mental illness. You have my prayers.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. :hug: I hope I can get through. x Well done on fighting so hard, and keep it up. :tighthug:
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:iconarvenaperedhel:
ArvenaPeredhel Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You will get through. Even the darkest night must end, and the sun will rise.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That is such a lovely thing to say. x Thank you. And I hope I will someday. :aww:
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:iconthesecretlifeofmia:
TheSecretLifeOfMia Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Completely understand. Stay strong<3
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, though sorry that you understand. :hug: x
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:iconraveness13:
Raveness13 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I totally get that...
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Sorry to hear that. :glomp:
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:iconraveness13:
Raveness13 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
T'okay. You dont need to feel it either.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
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:iconmelodierox:
MelodieRox Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Trust me, you don't want to have your arms all sliced up, and speaking as one who's done it, it's not something I wanted to do.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's happened to me a lot before, too, so I know that you might not always want it afterwards, but sometimes the urge is hard to fight. :hug:
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:iconmelodierox:
MelodieRox Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: Exactly.
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:glomp:
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:iconmelodierox:
MelodieRox Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:aww:
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:iconphoneix14:
Phoneix14 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
This is really good... i can relate..
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:iconstarvingslicingteen:
StarvingSlicingTeen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you like it.xx
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